Who wants to be wrong? I’ll answer that for you, no one. We all want to be right, right? Naturally as humans, in order to avoid disappointment, we choose actions based on our expectations. Being right means that everything goes as we planned it to, perfectly aligned to our expectations. Even from a young age, children are taught that there are benefits to being right. When you do something correctly or answer correctly, you are rewarded. Well, what happens if we’re wrong? Society teaches us that if we ever answer wrong or are given a low performance, that results in a less successful life. This model gets so deeply ingrained in our heads, that it sticks with us all the way to adulthood.
As a child, I had been raised to follow such high expectations. I thought if I did everything correctly, I would succeed every single time. I saw proof of this on tv, the news, and on the radio. It was all about the stories of famous and successful people. I believed that I too could become famous and successful if I continued to align my actions with my expectations. Nothing could go wrong. This perception was entertaining for me and for a while I kept up with this boxed-up reality and my ignorant view of the world until I saw how wrong I had been with my own eyes.
“Here they have been from their childhood, and have their legs and necks chained so that they cannot move”
Plato
“I was really nervous, but I was ready. Just one vault and you’re done. You know exactly what you are doing. I started to run, my heartbeat started to accelerate, and began to match the rhythm in my footsteps. My steady hands made contact with the elevated surface as I swiftly parachuted and flipped into the air. I hadn’t noticed that my feet had already made contact with the mat below me. The hard part was done. I stuck my landing. I did well. I was prepared for what was about to happen next, or so I thought.”
It was a simple day in gymnastics practice. I had just done my best on the vault. Feeling as confident as ever, I looked my coach right in the eyes. Those eyes were eyes of disappointment and dissatisfaction. Was my good simply not good enough? Of course it was and maybe my coach didn’t pay enough attention. But still, I was certain that I made no mistakes.
Many clues began to take place in my life, like that day in gymnastics, that helped me reach the conclusion that life isn’t as straightforward, or coherent, or expected as it appeared to be.
“Today was the day. My Math test. I know I will do good. I was nervous, but I was ready because I had prepared. Just answer a couple of questions and you’re done. The test took me only 45 minutes. I stood up from my seat to hand in my test at the front. Behind my mask, I was smiling because I knew I would do good( I always do good). I knew the outcome, or so I thought”
- Day 2: Still no test results. No need to worry, I know I did well
- Day 5: Still no results, but I just need to be patient
- Day 7: My teacher had marked our tests. The way he handed back my test had already implied that this test was not my best work.” I’m sure you know where you messed up on”, the teacher said. No, I didn’t know where I messed up since I was expecting a perfect score. This test must have been marked wrong because I know I made no mistakes.
I tried to ignore the anger and frustration that took control of my heart. I tried to ignore the fact that I actually made many mistakes, and instead made many excuses for my poor performance. I continued to act in accordance with my own version of reality, believing that I was still right all along.
“Will he not fancy that the shadows which he formerly saw are truer than the objects which are now shown to him”
Plato
Instead of shadows, I had television. Instead of echoes, I had the radio. It took me a while to realize that these public figures on tv did not actually show the truth or the nature of our existence. Instead, they focused on entertaining and deceiving shackled prisoners. As a child, I was a shackled prisoner, whose reality was simply a product of their own imagination. Seeing shadows being projected by the fire in the cave, felt safer than to just face the light. It felt safer to put the blame on my coach in gymnastics class or to put the blame on my math teacher.
” Everything that we see is a shadow cast by that which we do not see”
Martin Luther King Jr.
In relation to Plato’s Allegory of the Cave, I feel as though I have gotten to the point where I no longer want to keep falling back into the trap of ignorance and be bound by the shackles of darkness and illusions the cave brings. For so long I’ve enjoyed protecting my sense of reality and ideal utopia, as in a way, it protected my inner child. With all the challenges and mistakes I’ve made in my life so far, it’s been hard to convince myself that my individual perceptions and the limited environment that the cave fosters, are far worse than the real world. The real world brings me shame, disappointment, and fear. As a child, I had more idealistic and unrealistic expectations but grew more cynical as time passed. With that being said, disappointment is all about perspective. We are all capable of disappointment because we all have expectations. I have always believed that when you’ve made mistakes, nothing good could ever come. However, when you put in that effort to face the light and shift your mindset, you’ll eventually realize that disappointment makes you more in tune with your reality.
” Will he not have a pain in his eyes which will make him turn away”
Platos
Being right has always helped protect my sense of control. When others declare me as wrong, I simply assert that they are wrong in return. In many ways, this need has become a coping mechanism when I’m not even sure I’m right myself. The most disappointing facet of my life was growing thinking that everything will go as you planned and assumed it to be. You could be anything you ever dreamed of as long as you believed in it and worked hard to make it come true. As I transitioned from a wide-eyed child to a now sensible teenager, it’s hard to give up on my false reality. Its hard to accept the fact that my potentiality from childhood, doesn’t measure up with real life. But how can I tell if my reality is false or not?