The poem, “The Hidden Fence” by Rita Joe, is a poem about a First Nations girl going to a residential school and losing her identity and her connection to her culture. It is told in the author’s perspective and shows how she struggled to regain her lost sense of identity. Rita was once free and surrounded by her culture and beliefs. Rita was stripped of her identity and culture but managed to find a way to reclaim her lost identity. She expresses how she felt trapped by the changes and obstacles she faced in her life. She also discusses how she managed to overcome these changes and find the light when she thought she was trapped in the darkness.
Since this poem is about a First Nations girl losing her culture and identity, it was difficult to find a way that I could relate to this. I found an experience which I share the same feelings to her circumstance. Of course, in no way could my experience compare to the tragedy of what occured in residential schools, but it made me feel a similar way, just on a lower level. I found a way in which I relate to the feeling of losing my identity.
I am a Canadian, but my family is from Syria. Around every two years my family and I return to Syria to visit family and friends. When I was younger, the bi-yearly trip to my home country
meant nothing more than a fun vacation where I can visit my family and make new friends. This was until my last trip, which was two years ago. Due to covid and flight restrictions, we hadn’t gone to Syria in almost 4 years. In this 4 year period, I grew and changed as an individual. I began to understand the world around me more, and most importantly, connect with my family. I returned to Syria, a completely new person then I was the last time I visited. This trip to my home country wasn’t just a fun vacation anymore but it was also an opportunity for me to grow as an individual and enhance my identity.
In the summer of 22′, I visited Syria after a long 4 year wait. During my time there, I bonded with my family, experienced new things and embraced my heritage. This trip helped me get a better understanding of my identity and my culture. I reconnected with my roots and my heritage and I felt a connection like I had never felt before. I felt a sense of belonging, a feeling that was present in Canada, but not as strong as it was in Syria. I was surrounded with people who shared my culture, religion, ethnicity, language, history, and blood. Now that I was older, I was finally able to embrace and understand the meaning of identity. I realized that where I am from holds a major part in the shaping of my identity. Visiting Syria was like the feeling of returning home, even though I was born and raised elsewhere. I had discovered a part of me that I never knew was there.
Eventually, I did have to return to Canada. I
t was very tough for me to leave because I knew how much I would miss the feeling of comfort and belonging of being in Syria. I felt like I had lost a major part of my identity. A piece of my heart felt as if it remained in my home country. After returning, I was unsure of what to do, and where to go next. “Now slowing to a trickle. My stride becoming a shuffle.” This was an accurate way of representing how I felt. Relating to Rita, I was missing a part of my identity. I almost felt guilty leaving, like I was ditching a part of me halfway across the world. A part of my identity and culture was missing and I felt as if I had no way to retrieve it.
After time passed, I found a way to embrace
my identity again, but virtually. I would facetime my relatives daily, and be in constant communication with them. I also followed an instagram account that would update daily with photos, news and information about Syria. This helped me stay connected with my home country. “The spaces are still there for me to follow”, is how I felt. Even though, at first, it seemed like I had forever lost my identity and culture, I found out that there were still many ways that I could maintain my connection with Syria.
During this experience, I realized that seemingly losing your culture and identity isn’t always forever. Similar to Rita, she was stripped from her culture but she found a way to rembrace her supposedly lost culture. I cannot wait to return to Syria and grow my personal identity even more.
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