Breaking the Silence: Obasan’s Unfiltered Lens on Cultural Identity

Breaking the Silence: Obasan’s Unfiltered Lens on Cultural Identity

Assimilation is the absorption of a minority group by a dominant group. It has happened throughout history too many times to count — and only recently has our government taken action to reconcile its overlooked history of marginalization and mistreatment of ethnic groups. Canada’s reputation of being a melting pot of cultures and a catalyst for pluralism must be viewed through a broader lens, including the realities of people who have been historically silenced and oppressed. The acclaimed novel Obasan by Joy Kogawa is an eye-opening read that pledges to educate Canadians and recognize the wounds our country inflicted on the identities of Japanese Canadians.

Assimilation

The protagonist and narrator of the story, Naomi Nakane, is a part of the Sansei generation, which equates to third-generation immigrants. In post-war Canada, we learn that she is no stranger to adversity. Her family was displaced to several internment camps with immoral living conditions, her mother disappeared out of the blue, and she was molested by her neighbour, leaving her consumed by shame.

 

To shield herself from her tragic history, she follows the ideology of leaving the past in the past, using silence as her primary coping mechanism. However, this silence, initially intended as a protective barrier, also serves as a double-edged sword. Naomi becomes severed from a deeper understanding of herself and her identity, as she is bound to an endless cycle of suppressed emotions and unaddressed traumas. Therefore, readers are only exposed to a surface-level insight of Naomi’s character.

Silence

Naomi’s journey as a Japanese Canadian reflects the broader struggle of her community to reconcile with a history marred by discrimination. While enduring shaped Naomi into a resilient figure, she tolerates subtle racism and hateful comments from community members, reflecting a struggle to preserve her cultural identity while navigating a society that has marginalized her.

In contrast, Naomi’s brother Stephen escaped the abyss of cultural conflict by rejecting his Japanese background and succumbing to mainstream white Canadian culture. This method of integrating into Canadian society was the goal of our government- to eradicate all traces of Japanese heritage from the country to maintain their Eurocentric system of keeping white people in power. The shame Stephen feels for his culture is evident when he reaches adulthood and isolates himself from his family and anything Japanese-related.

It is interesting to view the impacts of assimilation from a generational standpoint, which demonstrates the gradual cultural erosion down Naomi’s family tree. Naomi’s grandparents, referred to as the Issei or first-generation, maintained their undying ties to their homeland despite living in Canada, embodying a traditional Japanese approach to life. The second generation, or the Nisei, attempted to find a balance between their Japanese roots and integration into Canada. However, as Eurocentrism dominated the nation’s structure at the time, they were forced to conceal parts of their heritage to avoid discrimination. At this stage, factors like language, traditions, and cultural practices began to wash away.

When looking at the bigger picture, Naomi’s fragmented memories appear to be a metaphor for the fragmentation of her culture. While readers have to piece together the broken timeline, Japanese Canadians can barely piece together the aspects of their culture that were severed by hate.

Fragmented memories and fragmented cultural identity

In conclusion, by unpacking the raw truth behind generations of silence and unspoken scars, as Joy Kogawa did with Obasan, we lay the groundwork for a future where empathy builds and rebuilds bridges within humanity. While we cannot change history, we can take accountability for our wrongdoings and grow into a country that is united in our values while truly diverse in our people.

 

 

 

 

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Image Citations:

https://spiritwest.com/blog-timeline/229-how-to-increase-distribution-in-a-fragmented-market

https://www.humanrightscareers.com/issues/what-is-cultural-assimilation/

https://www.soundonsound.com/people/why-love-silence

 

 

Identity in the Face of Hardship

Identity in the Face of Hardship

In Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s Purple Hibiscus, the theme of adversity shapes the identity of its characters. Adversity acts as a catalyst for transformation, forging the identities of individuals in the story. Kambili Achike, the main character, has her identity undergo profound changes due to the adversity she faces within her family. The oppressive environment created by her father, Eugene, showcases the impact of adversity on shaping identity. Eugene’s strict religious beliefs and abusive tendencies impose psychological and physical suffering upon his family. This adversity forms the base of Kambili’s growth, influencing her thoughts and actions. The constraints imposed by Eugene creates a restricted world for Kambili, limiting her ability to express herself. However, as the story progresses, instances of adversity, such as Kambili’s stay with her aunt, bring a gradual shift in her perception. Her exposure to a different lifestyle, one filled with freedom of expression and a relaxed atmosphere, challenges her prior experience, igniting a desire for opportunity. Adversity not only affects Kambili, but also shapes the identities of other characters like Jaja, her brother. Jaja’s defiance against their father’s authority is a direct response to the adversity he faces within the family. His rebellious behaviour shows a quest for identity in the face of adversity, leading to his captivity in order to protect his mother. 

The pivotal role of Aunt Ifeoma, Kambili’s aunt, serves as a contrast to the adversity she faces at home. Ifeoma’s nurturing environment welcomes openness and curiosity, providing Kambili with a glimpse of an alternative way of living. Through Ifeoma, Kambili discovers her voice and gradually develops a sense of self outside the constraints of her father’s oppressive influence. Additionally, Aunt Ifeoma’s purple hibiscuses in her garden symbolize “undertones of freedom…a freedom to be, to do.”

Ultimately, the adversity experienced by the characters in “Purple Hibiscus” serves as a catalyst for their growth and self-discovery. It highlights the resilience of human spirit and the power of challenging unfortunate circumstances. Kambili’s journey, from a timid and obedient daughter to a young woman finding her voice, displays the impact of adversity on shaping identity.

In conclusion, adversity, as seen in “Purple Hibiscus,” plays a fundamental role in shaping the identities of its characters. It acts as a force that reshapes their perceptions, beliefs, and actions. Through their struggles, they discover strength, resilience, and the ability to free themselves in the face of adversity, ultimately contributing to a richer and more complex understanding of their own identities.

 

Image Citations:

Purple Hibiscus | Ino’s Bunker (inosbunker.blogspot.com)

Freedom. What’s your definition? – Dr. Kevin Gyurina (drkeving.com)

Purple Hibiscus by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Paperback, 9781616202415 | Buy online at The Nile

The Impact of Memories, Reflections on Healing, Change, and Humanity

The Impact of Memories, Reflections on Healing, Change, and Humanity

In “The Kite Runner” by Khaled Hosseini, memories play a crucial role in shaping the characters’ present and future as they grapple with their past. The protagonist, Amir, navigates through his layered memories of guilt and redemption, providing readers with a moving insight into the lasting impact of one’s personal history. Amir’s recollections of his childhood in pre-Soviet invasion Kabul form the basis of the intricate narrative. His cherished moments with Hassan, his devoted friend and servant, are contrasted with the haunting memories of betrayal and cowardice. The alley, where the pivotal event of Hassan‘s assault takes place, remains etched in Amir’s mind as a constant reminder of his actions, echoing throughout the novel.

The BEST memories are made from the darnedest things… « Anna DeStefano's Blog

As the story progresses, the reader witnesses the weight of these memories on Amir’s character. The burden of guilt becomes a powerful driving force, compelling Amir to seek redemption. The vibrant descriptions of kite-flying tournaments, once symbols of friendship and joy, now serve as painful reminders of betrayal. The author skillfully uses the motif of kites to symbolize the fragility of relationships and the lasting impact of our choices. This exploration of memory is not limited to Amir as the novel delves into Afghanistan’s tumultuous history. The Soviet invasion, the rise of the Taliban, and the resulting displacement of its people create a collective memory that reverberates in the lives of the characters. The pomegranate tree, witness to both happiness and sorrow, serves as a powerful metaphor for the resilience of memories, enduring even in times of turmoil. Furthermore, Rahim Khan’s reunion with Amir acts as a catalyst for his journey towards redemption. The letter and revelation of Hassan’s true identity unlock Amir’s shackles of guilt. Through the lens of memory, he is forced to confront the truth and strive for forgiveness, demonstrating how memories can transform us and guide us towards self-discovery and personal growth.

Image result for hassan and amir kite runnerIn summary, Khaled Hosseini’s “The Kite Runner” beautifully delves into the profound impact of memories on both individual lives and a nation’s history. By deftly utilizing narrative techniques, Hosseini creates a captivating story that explores the universal theme of redemption. This moving narrative serves as a reminder that our memories have the ability to both haunt and heal us, shaping our very beings. Through its powerful story, the novel encourages readers to reflect on their own memories and how they shape their present and future. It also raises the question of whether healing and forgiveness are possible through our recollections.

 

 

Featured Image:  the kite runner – Bing images

1st Image: memories – Bing images

2nd Image: hassan and amir kite runner – Bing images

The Importance of Good Influences

The Importance of Good Influences

You Know I'm No Good by Foley, Jessie AnnThe book I am reading is called, “You Know I’m No Good,” by Jessie Ann Foley.  I am about halfway through this book and it is about a teenage girl. This teenage girl is very troubled in ways like underage smoking and drinking, sleeping with boys without any meaningful connection, and punching her stepmom. All these activities got the main character Mia Dempsey into a boarding school.

I believe that it is hard to connect to a character like Mia. Not many teenagers experience being so bad toHeavy drinking and smoking can age you faster: Study | DD News the point of being sent away from their families. But, they may be troubled in their own ways and the advice that the therapist gives Mia in this book could be helpful to anyone.

Friends Clipart Images | Free Download | PNG Transparent Background - Pngtree

To many I would not be considered a troubled teenager as I get good grades, I play sports, I do not skip class, and I have a good group of trusted friends. I believe it is who you surround yourself with that makes you who you are. If someone is friends with many bad people they will be influenced by them. I have the luxury of finding a great group of friends with the same morals as me. Mia did not have many close friends but the people that she chose to hang around were definitely not good influences. They did drugs and drank often while also skipping class.

Being around others who are positive influences is essential to good personal growth. Individuals pick up the habits of who they spend lots of time with so it is very important they are uplifting habits instead ofWays To Improve Your Self Towards Personal Growth | Unlocked Potentials poor ones. Good friendships provide nurturing environments that allow people to learn from each other and build a strong support system. Good influences inspire others to make better and thought-out decisions. In the end, this helps others reach their goals and maintain a positive mindset. Mia Dempsey is a great example of how surrounding yourself with the wrong people most likely will have a bad effect on you. All in all, being friends with positive influences can not only enhance your personal development but also create a supportive community to help many more. 

 

https://www.google.com/search?q=smoking+and+drinking+bad&sca_esv=586493926&rlz=1C5CHFA_enCA935CA937&tbm=isch&source=lnms&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjUl5eW0-qCAxUENn0KHQMlB_EQ_AUoAXoECAMQAw&biw=1280&bih=715&dpr=2#imgrc=xeqbB0hPIww0rM&imgdii=orMHy6TgpKqkMM

https://www.google.com/search?q=friends+clipart&rlz=1C5CHFA_enCA935CA937&oq=&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUqCQgCEEUYOxjCAzIJCAAQRRg7GMIDMgkIARBFGDsYwgMyCQgCEEUYOxjCAzIJCAMQRRg7GMIDMgkIBBBFGDsYwgMyCQgFEEUYOxjCAzIJCAYQRRg7GMIDMgkIBxBFGDsYwgPSAQoxOTU3NDNqMGo3qAIIsAIB&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#vhid=3E54ktFs_oSKNM&vssid=l

https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=587515418&rlz=1C5CHFA_enCA935CA937&q=personal+growth&tbm=isch&source=lnms&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjyj8_Aj_SCAxVYFDQIHZjTB_QQ0pQJegQIDhAB&biw=1280&bih=715&dpr=2#imgrc=YeESGeQ_ntgIHM

https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=587515418&rlz=1C5CHFA_enCA935CA937&q=you+know+im+no+good+book&tbm=isch&source=lnms&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjA-IT6j_SCAxVEGDQIHaVJDIEQ0pQJegQIDxAB&biw=1280&bih=715&dpr=2#imgrc=Yn6jCdp8KCoyIM

Kite Runner – The effects on children during the times of war.

The “Kite Runner” is a powerful novel by Khaled Hosseini, that tells a story about two boys, Amir and Hassan, growing up in Afghanistan during a gruesome time of war. The conflict disrupts many lives, causing loss, and trauma for many individuals. The novel explores the theme of children being forced to confront harsh realities of their world, making them mature at a young age. Through the characters of Amir and Hassan, the story illustrates how war has a heavy personal and emotional toll on children that were in Afghanistan during these times.

Some ways in which “The Kite Runner” addresses the effects of war on children is loss and trauma. The characters in the novel, especially Amir and Hassan, experience profound loss and trauma as a result of war in Afghanistan. Families are torn apart, friends are separated, and children witness lots of violence that leaves ever-lasting scars that they will think back to everyday of their lives. Secondly, is loss of innocence, war forces tons of children to grow up quickly since they have to confront harsh realities. The novel shows this when children are trying to cope with the brutality of their surroundings . For example Amir and Hassan are two individuals in the book that faced these realities, when the conflict started to escalate they were forced to think and act like adults even though they were young and still had lots to learn about life. My final reason for the effects on children is how they are affected psychologically. The novel really explores how they are affected mentally because of war, this is shown through the character Sohrab who is the son of Hassan in the book, dealing with emotional wounds from the experience of war. They become sad and even have post-traumatic stress because of the violence they have witnessed through their young eyes.

 

In summary, “The Kite Runner” shows the lasting effects of war on children of Afghanistan. Which is shown through the perspectives of Amir and Hassan in the novel, the novel really focuses on the emotional wounds caused by the conflict.

 

 

 

Unveiling Identity and Family Bonds

Unveiling Identity and Family Bonds

One of the central themes in “Unbecoming” revolves around the exploration of identity and the challenges an individual may face in breaking away from societal expectations. The novel follows Katie, a teenager trying to figure out her sexual identity, as she goes through a process of self-discovery. Katie’s journey mirrors the theme of unbecoming – steering clear of external pressures and societal norms to embrace her true self. Through Katie’s struggles, the book allows readers to reflect on the impact of societal expectations on personal identity and the courage required to defy these norms.

Additionally, the book dives into the dynamics of family relationships. The three generations of women – Katie, her mother Caroline, and grandmother Mary – each represent a different stage in life and a unique struggle with self-acceptance. The entwined narratives explore the ways in which family connections both support and set back the process of unbecoming. The novel allows readers to examine the influence of family on individual identity and the importance of understanding and accepting eachother despite generational differences.

Through the process of Katie embracing her true self, her grandma often tells her stories of her past. This benefits the both of them as it helps Katie ignore societal norms, and accept who she is. On the other hand it helps Mary push through the struggles of Alzheimer’s and slowly recollect her memory.

 

Ultimately, “Unbecoming” poses a question about the true meaning of authenticity and the lengths individuals must go to reclaim their genuine identity. As the characters confront their pasts and secrets, readers are prompted to reflect on their own journeys of unbecoming – the process of ignoring societal expectations, embracing individuality, and finding the strength to be yourself in a world that often imposes rigid standards.

 

 

https://images.app.goo.gl/BBtUoA6jHNmzGNb37

https://images.app.goo.gl/SGwHaG4pCd9oT9WK9

https://images.app.goo.gl/izrsTBNWY5tXAAVF6

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The Need to Belong In “Obasan”

Obasan | CBC BooksIn the novel Obasan, the book touches upon a horrific event in Canada’s history that has never been fully resolved to this day.  Obasan, by Joy Kogawa deals with the events of WWII in the battle in the pacific, between the United States, and Imperial Japan, and how Japanese Canadians were treated during these times of war.  This book talks about a woman named Naomi who works as a teacher, however we are not told much about her as a person.   However we know quite a lot about her family.  Her family moved from Japan and immigrated to Canada on the West coast in British Columbia before the first Great War. Her mother had disappeared back to Japan to care for her Grandmother, so she lives with her aunt, or her obasan in Japanese. Sadly her uncle and father have passed away, and her brother travels the world and doesn’t get to see his family.  While visiting her elderly aunt, she unlocks a trove of memories, a trove of memories best left forgotten, to prevent any more suffering.  However, a wave of haunting memories from her past during and after WWII as to how she and other Japanese Canadians were treated as outcasts, as enemies. 

How Japanese Canadians Survived Internment and Dispossession - Atlas Obscura

Inside of the novel, the idea of belonging is a prominent underlying theme in the novel.  That theme is the need to belong, and what drives that need.  A big driver is the difficulty to feel accepted in a society where all of a sudden, you were portrayed as the enemy.  Their family always says that first and foremost, they are Canadians. However there is one group for belonging, and that was with other Japanese Canadians who had also experienced the harshness of internment. The internment and displacement itself was a motive to reconnect and find a place in which they can belong,  for example, Naomi and her family moved away to a host town named Slocan, separated from others.  Finally, the last big driver toward the idea of belonging is family.  During the novel, many people are separated, in Naomi’s case, her father was left behind due to his illness, and eventually he passed away.  Although this theme may be hard to realize at first, it is an incredibly important message about connection. 

 

Although I am only half way through the novel, Joy Kogawa describes the hardships faced by Japanese Canadians in its full entirety.  Not hiding anything, and being cut and dry with the horrible things done.  She shows the difficulty of belonging, and what drives that fundamental human emotion.

Obasan by Joy Kogawa | Penguin Random House Canada

https://www.penguinrandomhouse.ca/books/391033/obasan-by-joy-kogawa/9780735233706

https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/japanese-canadian-internment-wwii

Sentiments With Obasan

Sentiments With Obasan

 

In what I have read so far of the novel “Obasan” by Joy Kogawa, it is seen that the outside forces are affecting Naomi in who she is. Even though I have not read the full book, and as such do not know how she ends up, throughout the novel she changes as the internment starts and then goes on. For example, while her mom is still at home, Naomi is more there as a person. Then, later through the diary we learn that slowly as the internment goes by she becomes more quiet due to the difficulties and discrimination. Almost repressing herself with the pressures she is going through. As such she changes due to the external forces that are pushing her down.

 

 The book so far, in terms of story, has been great.   I enjoy what the story is about and the pain it shows from the Japanese internment. However,  the writing style has really made the book more difficult to read. Sometimes, I will read a part and then re-read it as my brain did not fully realize what I just read. It also at points was confusing with what point in time it was being told from. As it would have a part in the past then the present, then the past again and it confused me a little bit. I also feel that the book would state too much information, to the point where it would be unnecessary and just cause me to lose interest at that moment. This caused the book to feel a lot more tiring to read than normal. Although, that imagery also helped make a picture in my mind of how the places look. I think it still could have done with better conciseness in that aspect. 

In the book there was also an entire section that felt kind of unnecessary. In the section Old Man Gower, from inference, violates Naomi. This, up to the point I am in the book, is not touched on again. It does not seem to affect her in any way really. When I would expect it to affect her in a much more deep way. Instead it feels that part could be omitted and the story would feel the exact same.

 

Citations:

Image – https://www.thecanadianencyclopedia.ca/en/article/internment-of-japanese-canadians

Image 2 – https://crosscountrymoversgroup.com/moving-mistakes/

Image 3 – https://www.homage.com.my/health/anxiety/

Featured Image – https://archive.org/details/obasannovel00koga

 

Why Do Good People Die?

    In my current novel study You Know I’m No Good the main character, Mia, proposes a question of why good people die, while bad people get the privilege of living a longer life. I chose to write on this topic because I know that it is a common question that is asked yet has never received just one answer.

 

You Know I'm No Good by Foley, Jessie Ann

    As Mia is sent to a rehabilitation center for struggled teens, she begins a process of self reflection. These reflections are based on the bad behaviors she exhibited, which included actions of punching her step-mother, getting into drugs and alcohol, alongside participating in promiscuous activities. This is what guides Mia to create this rhetorical question with the belief that she is a bad person who deserves to die.

 

    To start simply, what makes someone a good person? Everyone has different ideas about what qualities make up someone who is good, which is why the given question is open ended. My personal belief is that everyone dies, regardless of their character. The death of good people is perceived as more common because people tend to care more about the death of those they consider to be good people, meaning more emphasis is placed on the death of good over bad people. An example of this can be seen in the novel The Great Gatsby when nobody shows up to Gatsby’s funeral because the whole of society believed he was a bad guy for “killing” Myrtle. If the circumstances were varied and Gatsby was seen as innocent in society’s eyes, all opinions and feelings would have switched, becoming more solemn and sympathetic. Countless people die every day; there is no such thing as only good people dying. People mourn the loss of good because they think that they deserved more time alive than those who were -in their eyes- bad. They have this concept in their head that good people are more important and contribute more to the world than someone who is “bad”, which isn’t necessarily true. Good people are held up on a pedestal while others are thrown to the side and labeled as insignificantBlog: Responding to being left out important meetings — People Matters

 

    All in all, there will always be different answers to this question based on an individual’s beliefs and experiences, with no answer being correct or incorrect. Death is an inevitable occurrence that everybody experiences.

 

 

 

 

Citations:

https://www.peoplematters.in/blog/watercooler/responding-to-being-left-out-important-meetings-14994

 

The Kite Runner – The Interplay of Guilt and Opportunity

The Kite Runner – The Interplay of Guilt and Opportunity

     The Kite Runner, by Khaled Hosseni, is immersed in the theme of guilt which is prevalent when observing the life and relationships of Amir. The protagonist portrays guilt as a pathway to self – sabotage which results in a loss of opportunities in life. 

     Initially in the story, Amir, the son of a wealthy businessman in Kabul,  is best friends with his servant’s son, Hassan. Despite the large gap in social and financial status, the boys are able to form a very special bond during their childhood. The duo would spend all of their time playing with slingshots, reading, and participating in their favorite winter activity, kite fighting. Prior to the well anticipated tournament, the father tells him that he believes that Amir will finally win the tournament this year, which makes him want to work hard to make his father proud and earn a sense of admiration. As one thing leads to another, Amir allows himself to witness the rape of Hassan, in order to give his father a  the prized kite, to show that he won the tournament. While Amir does get admiration and attention from his father, he sacrifices the special bond he has with Hassan. Even though the boys never directly mention the assault with one another, they are both aware that Amir saw what happened, he did nothing to protect Hassan. 

     Ultimately, Amir not helping Hassan in his dire situation was an act of betrayal, which then loaded an enormous amount of guilt on top of Amir.

     Then the guilt starts to hinder Amir. Firstly, his guilt causes him to feel an immense amount of shame which prevents him from reconciling his relationship with Hassan; even though Hassan gives him numerous occasions to do so. The combination of guilt and shame within Amir, leads the boys from distancing to the point that Hassan and his dad leave – and the boys never talk to one another again.  Amir’s lack of sharing the truth costs him his first meaningful friendship and connection. 

     As Amir, goes on with his life, he often finds himself remembering the rape, which then steals happiness from him during times of relaxation and enjoyment. After the tournament, Amir’s dad decides to go on a big family road trip to Jalalabad, with extended relatives including cousins, uncles, and aunts. During the vacation, the dad on several occasions boasts about his son’s win at the kite tournament. While the dad was attempting to make Amir feel good and proud, it only made him feel revolted and sick because the recollection of the unfortunate event and his lack of interference took place in his consciousness. The guilt still lingered and ate at the boy, which took away from his chance to relax and enjoy his time with his family.  

     Jumping further into time, Amir begins to have feelings for a girl named Soraya, when he moves to America. As their interactions and feelings become increasingly significant, they kindle a profound romance. When Amir asks for Soraya’s hand in marriage, she decides to confess her past before they commit to anything. Amir in the moment feels an urge to share his and Hassan’s past so he can finally take a burden off of his shoulders; but he doesn’t. Instead he accepts Soraya, and enters marriage with a big secret and still looming sense of guilt. His decision takes away his chance of entering a new meaningful relationship without secrets and unwanted ties to the past.

I envied her. Her secret was out… Dealt with. [I] almost told her how I’d betrayed Hassan, lied, driven him out.

This secret also impacts the decision Amir makes when he declines the idea of adopting a child when the couple face fertility issues. His contemplation regarding the subjects leads him to believe that he is a coward and not fit to become a father because of his lack of courage and bravery to stand up for his best friend. He assumes that he can never raise a child successfully or be a role model. In this instance, Amir denies himself the opportunity of fatherhood and having a child.

     Overall, Amir’s inability to stand up and protect Hassan, made him embody an ever longing guilt and shame that denied him reconciliation of a friendship with Hassan, peace of mind during a vacation, entering an honest and truthful marriage with Soraya, and of being a father. So it is important to be held accountable and honest of one’s mistakes, to prevent feelings of guilt. 

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Citations:

https://theconversation.com/us/topics/guilt-9470    https://www.koin.com/news/these-are-americas-most-depressed-cities-data-shows/    https://www.stuartduncan.name/autism/overcoming-self-doubt-as-an-autism-parent/