When young and impressionable individuals grow up in an environment that promotes unrealistic expectations of success as the only option, an intense pressure to constantly achieve perfection can develop that prevents that individual from trying out new things because of a fear of not being able to reach the standard of perfection as set by their own mind.
In the society that we live in, there is an idealization of success as a constant struggle that an individual spends their life working towards as their main purpose. Growing up, especially in the new digital age, surrounded by that mindset from every angle creates a lot of pressure to always achieve perfection. Everywhere that you may look, there is almost always a showcase of the ideal; billboards with unrealistic body standards encouraging you to change, motivational quotes encouraging toxic positivity, and a societal standard that you have to reach to be accepted. With that, there is no surprise that so many young people that have witnessed that pressure all of their life have a fear of falling short and in turn set even more unrealistic standards that warp their idea of themselves and the world around them. Throughout my life, I have always been told that the only way to live a successful life is if you work, study, and achieve enough in your life through having the picture-perfect “American dream” life. Only then will you be happy with where you are at. And only then, will people respect you as a successful and independent individual.
My parents are both immigrants so they both hold the ideals that their parents passed on to them, and then to me. Whilst it may be true that hard work and proficiency in a skill can lead to more opportunities for success, it still is a lot of pressure for a child to constantly hear that their worth in the working world is measured by the grades they receive and how well they do something. I am pretty lucky to have had many of the opportunities that I did throughout my life but almost always, when I try something new, regardless of how good or bad I may, there has always been an invisible pressure telling me that no matter what, I will not be good enough to reach the standard of approval and that there is always someone better who’s proficiency is out of my reach. That mindset is what causes me to avoid new situations, new activities, new people because of old feelings and thoughts that bubble up whether they are invited in or not. My idea of success is so out of my grasp that in the end, it is just easier to give up and say I’m no good than to reach for the stars and face the hardships of space.
It can be very hard to deal with a fear that has built up for so long, yet letting go of it is easier said than done when that pressure starts to become something that you are so accustomed to that holding onto that it may seem to be the best option. Like many things, there is not a singular root cause of a certain fear, and this case is no exception. Internal and external factors can build up and start becoming a burden that can contribute to causing an individual to doubt their self-worth and abilities. In turn, that causes them to set an unreasonably high standard for themselves to prove that they are good enough both to themselves and others. Considering that, those internal standards end up inflicting more pressure on the individual to achieve that supposed perfection.
Personally, I end up falling prey to that endless cycle of pressure and expectations very often throughout my day-to-day life and entering high school, things seem to often spiral out of control when dealing with the concept of perfection and perfectionism. Going into high school, the external demand of this time being a crucial part of establishing one’s future causes me to view school as a life or death situation with my brain telling me that every single thing that I do has to be the absolute best thing that I have ever done or else it is not good at all. That causes me to start getting behind on my work because no matter how good it may seem to some, I always have the thought in my head that it should be better and it isn’t reaching a point that will warrant success. It’s extremely counterproductive to have that constant mindset guiding me through my life but it’s hard to break a habit that’s been walking and growing alongside me throughout my life. With that, it is always good to take a step back and to remember that one person’s standards will always differ from another’s and that is okay. There will always be pressure in one’s life but using that pressure productively to do what you can with what time and tools you are given can help one be more accepting of themselves and enjoy what they are doing, in turn reaching a personal feeling of success in one’s accomplishments.
