November 2021 – Page 3

Expectations and Identity

Maheen 20-1 B, Response to Literature November 28, 2021November 29, 2021ambition, coming of age, expectations, Forming New Identity, fulfillment, growth, Identity Crisis, Independence, loss of motivation, Pressure to Succeed, success, Two Kinds By: Amy Tan 2 Comments

And after seeing, once again, my mother’s disappointed face, something inside me began to die. I hated the tests, the raised hopes and failed expectations.

When an individual is forced to conform to the expectations set by their guardians, it causes the individual to become miserable, and therefore rebel against these expectations, forming their true identity.

“Two Kinds” is a coming-of-age story, in which the narrator, Jing-mei, struggles to forge her own sense of identity in the face of her strong-willed mother’s dream that she become a “prodigy.” Jing-mei is caught between her Chinese mother’s traditional ideas about how to raise a daughter and her own development as a Chinese American girl straddling two cultures. Like many immigrants to the United States, Jing-mei’s mother has created idealized visions of her adopted country as a land of opportunity where all dreams may be realized. The first line of the story introduces this central idea: “My mother believed you could be anything you wanted to be in America.” Having absorbed idealized visions of the “American Dream” from television and other forms of mass media, Jing-mei’s mother manages to fabricate a seemingly endless supply of success fantasies for her daughter. Each new inspiration about the nature of her daughter’s destiny to become a “prodigy” is sparked by what she sees on television, reads in women’s magazines, or reads about in such mass-market publications as Ripley’s Believe-it-or-Not. Jing-mei soon finds that her mother’s determination that she becomes a prodigy threatens to stifle her own sense of who she is. Ironically, it is out of defiance against her mother that she ultimately does forge her own sense of personal identity. Jing-mei’s sense of failure to embody her mother’s hopes and dreams is at first distressful to her: I hated the tests, the raised hopes and failed expectations. When she looks in the mirror one night, she sees only her mother’s vision of her as a failure and a disappointment:

I looked in the mirror above the bathroom sink and when I saw only my face staring back—and that it would always be this ordinary face—I began to cry. Such a sad, ugly girl!

The face Jing-mei first sees in the mirror is the face of who she is in her mother’s eyes. “Trying to scratch out the face in the mirror” symbolizes her attempt to erase or obliterate her mother’s image of her as a failure. Through this acknowledgment to herself that she is not the person her mother wants her to be, she begins to glimpse an image of her own definition of herself emerging from the mirror.

And then I saw what seemed to be the prodigy side of me—because I had never seen that face before. I looked at my reflection, blinking so I could see more clearly. The girl staring back at me was angry, powerful. This girl and I were the same. I had new thoughts, willful thoughts, or rather thoughts filled with lots of won’ts. I won’t let her change me, I promised myself. I won’t be what I’m not.

Through this insight, Jing-mei for the first time articulates her determination to live by her own self-definition, rather than those ill-fitting “selves” her mother continues to impose upon her. As the story progresses, Jing-mei becomes more and more openly defiant against her mother’s wishes. Later, when her mother insists that she continue to attend piano lessons after she has made it clear that the piano is not her calling, Jing-mei further strengthens her resolve not to conform to her mother’s wishes. This is also an important moment in the development of Jing-mei’s cultural identity. For the first time, she articulates her resistance to her mother in terms of the cultural gap between her mother’s traditional Chinese ideas about daughters being obedient and her own perspective as a strong-willed Chinese American girl. When her mother continues to insist that she attend her piano lesson, Jing-mei becomes openly defiant. Through this assertion of her own will against her mother, Jing-mei strengthens her sense of personal identity in opposition to her mother. Jing-mei begins to sense the emergence of her true, inner self.

Citations:

Image 1 – https://walifromthebx.medium.com/anxiety-can-make-you-feel-like-a-goddamn-pressure-cooker-c8b9ecf01e36

Image 2 – https://www.dreamstime.com/cartoon-sad-depressed-man-looking-himself-mirror-cartoon-stick-drawing-conceptual-illustration-sad-depressed-man-image129384624

Image 3 – https://www.wrschool.net/cms/lib/AZ02214740/Centricity/Domain/1613/TWO%20KINDS%20Text.pdf

Cathedral Steps

abdul0157 20-1 A, Response to Literature, Writing November 28, 2021December 14, 2021Blindness, confinement, Epiphany, reality, the cathedral 0 Comment

The Cathedral appeared to be, with my first, unfocused glance, a book without substance – mere fluff, as of so many pillows. Words, words, and words, and, behind them, no meaning to be teased out. It remained much the same in my mind as I read on, looking upon the author’s narrow, inflexible views; the last page, however, changed my stance.

A cathedral was built with blindness, for in the absence of sight – so unlike the presence thereof – there are no edges; no constraints. He’d made for his wife and himself a home; a home born of the stagnant money of the stagnant career of a stagnant man with open, fluid eyes that limit him. A contradiction, this – are not eyes the means of growth, not the opposite?

They are, I’d say, but, as evinced by The Cathedral, every point at which one grows – every recollection of the narrator with his wife’s sending of tapes – fixes in one’s mind the very walls that impede said change. The cathedral’s gradual construction by Robert and ‘Bub’ – our unchanging narrator – is the incremental motion away from these walls; steps, built ever upward, towards understanding, and, from it, an absence of limitations.

Raymond Carver, with this depiction of cathedrals, contradicts the conventional view of epiphanies, implying that they gradually come to be with exposure to contrary ideas. The reflection that inevitably occurs in the wake of this cements the epiphany, making seen the flaws in one’s past state – dissolving, if you will, the trappings of a house.

The Cathedral’s plot parallels this process; from the unformed exposure that is the narrator’s initial encounter with Robert, to the reflection that is the time spent watching television by ‘Bub’ and ‘the blind man’, to the eventual, solid epiphany in seeing the freedom that comes of blindness.

The narrator’s exposure is in his first meeting with Robert, for he’s yet to understand how thoroughly Robert’s way of ‘blindness’ contradicts his own manner of living; he, consequently, cannot reflect, for there’s, at that point, no flaw in his present self. After sharing a meal with the blind man, ‘Bub’ goes on to do what he always does after a meal, and smokes a joint. As his wife falls asleep, Bub and Robert come to speak of cathedrals, with Robert, given his blindness, asking to know of the buildings. Bub, at first, seeks to define them – until, at last, he comes to see that he can’t do so fully, and that the ideas born of his sight do nothing but limit his ability to do so.

This is his reflection, and is evinced by him saying that cathedrals aren’t of any particular value to him – a leaving behind of prior notions that’d typically define cathedrals as something or another, and an acknowledgement that there are, within them, failings. This point, more than any other, leads Bub to work with Robert in the drawing of the cathedral, for he, if only vaguely, sees the merit of blindness. The cathedral is then drawn, Robert’s hand guiding Bub all the while; the unseeing granting the seeing the means of accomplishing something. This last event leaves the narrator with the realization that through blindness alone – in lieu of his previous bigotry and other conceits – can he act without trappings. This is the realization that cements Bub’s reflections, and makes of them an epiphany – the final piece in the building of his cathedral.

Pursuing Desire

saniyah402 20-1 B, Critical Essay, Response to Literature November 28, 202120-1B, Poison of Blue Rose, pursuit of happiness, regret, response to literature, writing 6 Comments

Often times the brutality of choosing to follow an aspiration or upholding expectations can cause an individual to be flushed with exertion. The stress of not letting down others can cause a great amount of confusion that one doesn’t know how to deal with. To cope with this, one might run away from their problem or choose to deal with it head-on. In the short story, The Poison of the Blue Rose, the character Gulab Bibi is faced with a conflict between pursuing a personal desire or choosing to conform. Yasmin Marri exemplifies, through Gulab Bibi’s experiences, that when an uncertain individual wants to pursue a personal desire, they may choose to disappoint or conform to society, resulting in the individual facing an inner conflict.

Making the choice between loyalty or following a personal desire can cause a person to feel overwhelmed. This leads to doubts and conflicts. Gulab Bibi is in love with a man named Rafiq, however, her parents have already betrothed her to someone else. The narrator reads the lines on her palm and tells her that she is destined to marry Rafiq. This arises an internal conflict that and Gulab Bibi doesn’t know what to do and is overwhelmed with emotion. She is struck with the reality that she can’t disappoint her parents even though her heart tells her to. When an individual fantasy is shattered by the unfulfilling truth, it allows them to see clearly what is best for them and their future, even if they are discontent at the time. Gulab Bibi then must make a decision that could make or break the happiness of her future.

Sometimes the individual feels that they are forced to choose the opposite of what they want. The pressure put on someone by society can alter their feelings and cause doubts as to which decision is right or wrong. After being pressured by parental expectations, Gulab Bibi chooses not to marry Rafiq. To find hope once again, she goes to the narrator’s house months after their last encounter to seek help in yearning. She enters fully in her wedding clothes ready to be wed, yet she is still having contradictions. She tells the narrator that she will never forget Rafiq, despite the narrator’s efforts to liberate her from that burden. At this point in the individual’s process towards making a decision, the major factor that comes into play is the possibility of regret. The contemplation of not being content in the future because of a past decision can keep an individual longing for redemption. The fear of making the wrong choice can haunt an individual until they make the decision, oftentimes, even after they make it. However, Gulab Bibi puts her faith in the narrator to guide her towards a life of no regret.

Eventually, one must accept their faith since that is the only way they can move on with their life. Gulab Bibi’s enquiries about the narrator’s past love life opened many memories the narrator had locked away, indicating that no one can really run from their past because it will always be there no matter how hard they try to forget it. At this point of the story, the conflict gets passed on to the narrator. Wonders about the past introduces the readers to the concept of the blue rose. It symbolizes poison and the anguish that can be caused by one’s faults made in the past. By glorifying the reality that the contemplation between pursuing a desire or conforming to expectations, Gulab Bibi understood that the most reasonable decision was to conform since it was for her own good. The thought of disappointment became unbearable, even though she wanted the one thing she couldn’t have, true love.

References:

Blue rose – https://www.istockphoto.com/vector/burning-blue-rose-gm1047474922-280183259

Photo # 2 – https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/reviews/action-versus-contemplation/

Photo # 3 – https://aviaryrecoverycenter.com/spiritual-principle-acceptance/

The idea of epiphany

shriyans6 20-1 A November 28, 202120-1A, Epiphany, the cathedral 3 Comments

Epiphany (Bogojavljenje, Sveta tri kralja) - Expat in Croatia

An individual’s process of thoroughly examining something allows for learning versus just looking at something, which can lead to growing ignorant. The short story, “Cathedral” explores the significance of being enlightened versus an individual becoming more ignorant, resulting in an epiphany building towards a sudden shift of enlightenment as the narrator learns from the blind man when asked if he could describe what a Cathedral looks like. The writer shows the importance of enlightenment through the knowledge the blind man contains despite his disability of being blind. The man with the ability to see only sees people and things from the surface, while the blind man’s inability to see forces him to delve deeper to find the true meaning and importance of a person or thing. An example of this is when the blind man wants to understand what a Cathedral looks like, encouraging the narrator to dive deeper and force him to give more detail in order for the blind man to envision and understand what a cathedral looks like in his. Not only this but also the narrator at the beginning of the story is ignorant towards art, restricting him to dive deeper to create an understanding. For example, he is not able to understand his wife’s poetry since it requires him to go more in depth to understand what his wife has written down. As the story moves on, we slowly see the narrator experience an epiphany as he becomes more enlightened through his encounter with the blind man when he is asked to communicate what a cathedral looks like to the blind man through art. The blind man asks the narrator to draw the cathedral with his eyes closed, forcing the narrator out of his comfort zone of only seeing and understanding things on the surface. While this creates initial discomfort for the narrator, he eases into the process of drawing the cathedral, and when the blind asks him to open his eyes, the narrator keeps them closed. This process of communicating through art bonds the two men in that the narrator can now perceive the world in the same way as the blind man, a way in which the narrator could not be bothered to understand before.

https://www.expatincroatia.com/epiphany-bogojavljenje-sveta-tri-kralja/

Change Your Life, One Drawing At a Time

tori238 20-1 A, Response to Literature, Writing November 28, 2021November 28, 2021blinded, Cathedral, disabilties, life, life lessons, monotonous, perspective, road to success, short story 10 Comments

(What Do You Do When People Say You’re Inspiring?, 2021)

“Then I said, ‘I’m glad for the company’. And I guess I was. Every night I smoked dope and stayed up as long as I could before I fell asleep. My wife and I hardly ever went to bed at the same time. When I did go to sleep, I had these dreams. Sometimes I’d wake up from one of them, my heart going crazy.”

When reading Raymond Carver’s short story the Cathedral, I took 1 key message from it. This story has reiterated the fact that no matter who you are or what has happened to you, you’re in charge of your own destiny. In this short story, there are two men: a blind man and a man with no physical disabilities (the narrator). Although the blind man is clearly disadvantaged, he has created a full, successful life for himself. He found true love, made friends, and lived through many life-altering experiences. In comparison, the narrator has no physical disabilities but is pessimistic, unfriendly, and unhappy. Since he has this mindset, we learn that he doesn’t enjoy his monotonous life and doesn’t have any true friends. He has lived like this for years, and has never chosen to take matters into his own hands and change his life. After meeting the blind man and drawing a cathedral together, the narrator comes to the realization that things in his life are better than they seem, and he just needs a new perspective. This consciousness is key to proving that each individual decides how they are going to look at and live their lives.

“Then I said, ‘I’m glad for the company’. And I guess I was. Every night I smoked dope and stayed up as long as I

(Finally Taking Your Life Into Your Own Hands – Lakehouse, 2015)

could before I fell asleep. My wife and I hardly ever went to bed at the same time. When I did go to sleep, I had these dreams. Sometimes I’d wake up from one of them, my heart going crazy.” This quote, spoken by the narrator, shows that first shift in the narrator’s perspective. Before this, he came across as arrogant, and it was clear he thought of himself better than the blind man just because of his disability. However, in this quote he discovered how he has very limited connections with the people around him and how he is not as happy with his monotonous life as he thought he was beforehand. This quote shows his epiphany where he stops living with his unhappy life and begins to consider how he could change it for the better. In this quote, he says he and his wife hardly ever go to bed at the same time. This shows how they aren’t very connected, and don’t have a very good relationship with each other. Your significant other is supposed to be one that you are closest with, and if he hardly ever speaks to his wife, he probably doesn’t have very many other true friendships or relationships around him.

This short story is written with small sentences and easy to read language, but that doesn’t mean Carver didn’t think about his word choices. For example, in the quote I chose, the word dreams is a metaphor for him being haunted by what he doesn’t have, and shows that the things he really wants feel far out of reach. In addition, this quote shows the reader him longing for company which he doesn’t usually have, per fault of him. Carver elected to take out any confusing language as he decided that the goal of this short story was to teach people a lesson, and I think he did an extraordinary job at doing so.

Although there were many key shifts in the narrator’s perspective in this short story, I chose this one as I thought it best portrayed the fact that the narrator began to take matters into his own hands. Throughout the story, the narrator’s snide remarks were prominent, but after he came to this new-found realization, he slowly began to respect the blind man more, and ultimately respect himself more as well.

Written by: Tori

False Reality

thabilem834 20-1 B, Personal Response, Writing November 28, 2021November 29, 2021false reality, my cave, plato's allegory 4 Comments

Who wants to be wrong? I’ll answer that for you, no one. We all want to be right, right? Naturally as humans, in order to avoid disappointment, we choose actions based on our expectations. Being right means that everything goes as we planned it to, perfectly aligned to our expectations. Even from a young age, children are taught that there are benefits to being right. When you do something correctly or answer correctly, you are rewarded. Well, what happens if we’re wrong? Society teaches us that if we ever answer wrong or are given a low performance, that results in a less successful life. This model gets so deeply ingrained in our heads, that it sticks with us all the way to adulthood.

As a child, I had been raised to follow such high expectations. I thought if I did everything correctly, I would succeed every single time. I saw proof of this on tv, the news, and on the radio. It was all about the stories of famous and successful people. I believed that I too could become famous and successful if I continued to align my actions with my expectations. Nothing could go wrong. This perception was entertaining for me and for a while I kept up with this boxed-up reality and my ignorant view of the world until I saw how wrong I had been with my own eyes.

“Here they have been from their childhood, and have their legs and necks chained so that they cannot move”
Plato

“I was really nervous, but I was ready. Just one vault and you’re done. You know exactly what you are doing. I started to run, my heartbeat started to accelerate, and began to match the rhythm in my footsteps. My steady hands made contact with the elevated surface as I swiftly parachuted and flipped into the air. I hadn’t noticed that my feet had already made contact with the mat below me. The hard part was done. I stuck my landing. I did well. I was prepared for what was about to happen next, or so I thought.”

It was a simple day in gymnastics practice. I had just done my best on the vault. Feeling as confident as ever, I looked my coach right in the eyes. Those eyes were eyes of disappointment and dissatisfaction. Was my good simply not good enough? Of course it was and maybe my coach didn’t pay enough attention. But still, I was certain that I made no mistakes.

Many clues began to take place in my life, like that day in gymnastics, that helped me reach the conclusion that life isn’t as straightforward, or coherent, or expected as it appeared to be.

“Today was the day. My Math test. I know I will do good. I was nervous, but I was ready because I had prepared. Just answer a couple of questions and you’re done. The test took me only 45 minutes. I stood up from my seat to hand in my test at the front. Behind my mask, I was smiling because I knew I would do good( I always do good). I knew the outcome, or so I thought”

Day 2: Still no test results. No need to worry, I know I did well
Day 5: Still no results, but I just need to be patient
Day 7: My teacher had marked our tests. The way he handed back my test had already implied that this test was not my best work.” I’m sure you know where you messed up on”, the teacher said. No, I didn’t know where I messed up since I was expecting a perfect score. This test must have been marked wrong because I know I made no mistakes.

I tried to ignore the anger and frustration that took control of my heart. I tried to ignore the fact that I actually made many mistakes, and instead made many excuses for my poor performance. I continued to act in accordance with my own version of reality, believing that I was still right all along.

“Will he not fancy that the shadows which he formerly saw are truer than the objects which are now shown to him”
Plato

Instead of shadows, I had television. Instead of echoes, I had the radio. It took me a while to realize that these public figures on tv did not actually show the truth or the nature of our existence. Instead, they focused on entertaining and deceiving shackled prisoners. As a child, I was a shackled prisoner, whose reality was simply a product of their own imagination. Seeing shadows being projected by the fire in the cave, felt safer than to just face the light. It felt safer to put the blame on my coach in gymnastics class or to put the blame on my math teacher.

” Everything that we see is a shadow cast by that which we do not see”
Martin Luther King Jr.

In relation to Plato’s Allegory of the Cave, I feel as though I have gotten to the point where I no longer want to keep falling back into the trap of ignorance and be bound by the shackles of darkness and illusions the cave brings. For so long I’ve enjoyed protecting my sense of reality and ideal utopia, as in a way, it protected my inner child. With all the challenges and mistakes I’ve made in my life so far, it’s been hard to convince myself that my individual perceptions and the limited environment that the cave fosters, are far worse than the real world. The real world brings me shame, disappointment, and fear. As a child, I had more idealistic and unrealistic expectations but grew more cynical as time passed. With that being said, disappointment is all about perspective. We are all capable of disappointment because we all have expectations. I have always believed that when you’ve made mistakes, nothing good could ever come. However, when you put in that effort to face the light and shift your mindset, you’ll eventually realize that disappointment makes you more in tune with your reality.

” Will he not have a pain in his eyes which will make him turn away”
Platos

Being right has always helped protect my sense of control. When others declare me as wrong, I simply assert that they are wrong in return. In many ways, this need has become a coping mechanism when I’m not even sure I’m right myself. The most disappointing facet of my life was growing thinking that everything will go as you planned and assumed it to be. You could be anything you ever dreamed of as long as you believed in it and worked hard to make it come true. As I transitioned from a wide-eyed child to a now sensible teenager, it’s hard to give up on my false reality. Its hard to accept the fact that my potentiality from childhood, doesn’t measure up with real life. But how can I tell if my reality is false or not?

Expectations and Disagreements

elizabethm992 20-1 B, Response to Literature, Writing November 28, 2021November 28, 2021disagreements, dreams, expectations, happiness, life lessons, seize opportunities, unrealistic standards 6 Comments

“Disagreements sometimes arise when what we want to do differs from what others want us to do.”

The quote stated above develops the idea that people are all unique, meaning we have different opinions, beliefs, routines, and more. Inevitably, we, as humans, will run into conflict, such as having to partake in a job or assignment we are not inclined to do. Regardless of whether or not an individual wants to do that task, sometimes they have to. From this comes a lesson: oftentimes, life will not always go your way, but, nevertheless, one must let go of the past and look at the positive aspects of life. Though we do control our own lives and decisions and do have a say in the matter to a certain extent, there may be no choice if only one option is available. The lack of options may be due to family standards, personal expectations, or simply no other option, thus causing a conflict.

In the story “Two Kinds,” author Amy Tan explores the idea of how personal and societal standards affect decisions and the conflict that these different perspectives lead to. The main character’s mother wanted her daughter, Jing-Mei, to be a genius or prodigy, specifically on the piano, while, in reality, Jing-Mei just wanted to be a young, average girl. The mother was constantly forcing special talents on her, pushing her to become someone special or famous. Initially, she believed she could follow her mother’s plan and become someone, such as a pianist, but she began to see that her mother was attempting to live in an ideal, unrealistic world. As time went on, Jing-Mei was losing hope in this dream. Soon she began to actively go against her mother, refusing to do what she said. This caused a major disagreement between the mother and daughter, leading to a lost connection and a damaged relationship. This conflict was caused by wanting different paths out of life for Jing-Mei. Jing-Mei did not accept her mother’s expectations, making it extremely difficult to have a strong, healthy relationship.

Personally, I have faced numerous challenges from wanting different things out of life and, though it is not pleasant, it is unavoidable. Everyone is different and unique and we cannot control the way others act or behave towards us. One must merely accept the facts and move on; let go of the past feeling. Though an individual should not tolerate hate and abuse towards them, if a conflict arises, that individual could try to not dwell on these feelings. This is a lesson that I am still learning because, oftentimes, I have a different goal or perspective towards a situation that differs from friends and family and causes a conflict or argument. To diminish this, I politely explain my opinion and accept that we are two different people with two different opinions. A time that I personally learned this lesson was when I was hoping to become part of a specific organization that would provide me with many opportunities and lessons but, at the time, my friend did not want to do this. I almost quit because I did not want to cause conflict but, in the end, I went regardless. Now that I look back on this experience, I am extremely grateful that I took this opportunity when it came rather than avoiding it to conform to others expectations. Through this experience, I learned the lesson that though disagreements may arise from having different expectations, one must live their life the way they want to because life is short and happiness is important.

Written by: Elizabeth

References:

Unknown. Wurlitzer spinet piano. PianoMart. 2020, 38560_42073_5f0d348c79660_main.jpg

Rodgers, Linda. Broken relationships. Shutterstock. 2020, 00-broken-relationship-shutterstock_725426836-770.jpg

Sullivan, Dan. Happiness Is A Choice. 2016, http://blog.strategiccoach.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/Happiness-Decision_Multiplier-Mindset-Blog.png

Unknown. Conflicts and Disagreements. 2017 download-15-300×200.jpg

The Duality of Ambition

ethan6777 Response to Literature November 28, 2021ambition, expectations, fulfillment, growth, impatience, loss of motivation, short stories 4 Comments

ambition, Photography, Reflection, Chess, Mirror, Xatwn, Piramerd Wallpapers HD / Desktop and Mobile Backgrounds

When people have ambition, they have the strong desire to achieve success. It motivates people to become something they see as greater than themselves. It is a force that helps them picture what they want to be in the future and motivates them to chase that version of themselves. Ambition may help motivate people to become better than they are, but it’s danger is in the extent effort is put into completing their goal. Ambition is great in motivating people but if paired with high expectations, people can fall prey to the idea of quick success and that eventually leads to their downfall. In the short story, ‘Two Kinds’ by Amy Tan, the author presents the idea that when an impatient person starts off highly ambitious with equally high expectations, they work extremely hard at the start, however, if they do not achieve the results in a short amount of time, they get discouraged and frustrated leading to them quitting and losing their ambition and their sense of their potential.

Typically, a person’s imagination can empower their ambition and lead to them dreaming of grandeur or greatness. These goals and these imagined scenarios lead to high expectations of themselves. People who act on ambition often start off extremely motivated and work as hard as they can in order to try to achieve their goal. Their ambition pushes them to do as much and whatever they can to reach what they see as their highest potential. Easily excitable, they are filled to the brim with motivation and aim to do whatever it takes to make it to that point. People love the idea of achievement and can become so obsessed with it that they simply chase success without really thinking.

“I pictured this prodigy part of me as many different images, trying each one on for size.”

Jing-mei is given this idea of her being perfect. She imagines a world where she was a prodigy and it ramps up her expectations even more. This increases her ambition and her motivation to become a prodigy. Through becoming a prodigy, she thinks she would make her parents proud and would be perfect. Individuals believe that through extremely hard work and pure determination, they can accomplish success quickly and without too much of a hitch. This in turn motivates them even more and they begin doing all that they can in order to improve themselves. This can be very beneficial to a person’s growth and may help them become a better version of themselves. Eventually, they face their first obstacle or their first failure. Their reaction dictates the results of their ambition. If they are motivated enough to keep going, they keep going and it leads to self-growth. For some people, they are flattened by failure and are immediately unmotivated.

Failure and obstacles are not a bad thing. In fact, they should be expected and embraced. Impatient people with high amounts of ambition have as much motivation as any other person, perhaps even more, and they try to overcome every obstacle through brute force and effort. However, even with all of their ambition and hard work to start it off, if the bar is simply too high in a too short amount of time, they may get frustrated if they are too impatient. When they encounter their first roadblock or failure, they are confused because they are working so hard. Expecting better of themselves or more, they are very disappointed with the final result. It may take more time for them to develop their skill and they do not feel as if they can become the person they want to be. They begin to get mad at themselves for not reaching their goal immediately, despite their hard work. It may be more difficult than they previously thought. To add to all of this, they feel a sense that their opportunity to be great is fleeting. Jing-mei experiences this through the prodigy side she sees in herself pushing her to hurry up. As a child, her mother tries to bring greatness out of her and she is given more tests.

“But sometimes the prodigy in me became impatient. “If you don’t hurry up and get me out of here, I’m disappearing for good,” it warned. “And then you’ll always be nothing.””

This realization that they are not yet what they wanted to be causes all of the expectations that lifted them up and motivated them to be great to crash down because they were expecting greatness. All they got was a bitter failure or a half-success. This high amount of but also rushed effort only results in what they see as a mediocre result, causing them to be dissatisfied with their progress. Failed expectations lead to doubt in themselves and their ability to become what they want to be. Sometimes, this doubt begins to creep up on a person. Failure to meet their expectations makes them feel inadequate. This inadequacy they feel drains them of what is left of their motivation.

How to Find Balance When Too Much Self-Doubt Gets in the Way | KQED

Motivation is easy to gain and hard to act on. It’s even harder to maintain. High expectations that eventually are not met in a short period of time lead to doubt. They not only doubt their ability to achieve the goal they are pursuing but also begin to doubt themselves as well. Individuals begin to doubt their ability to be great and this doubt eliminates the motivation they had at the start. Their intense motivation at the start is immediately diminished. Sometimes, they not only lose motivation to pursue their goal but they also lose motivation to improve themselves as a whole. The failure not only causes doubt that results in little to no motivation but it also can be quite demoralizing and detrimental to one’s perception of themselves. In “Two Kinds”, this is shown through Jing-mei’s gradual acceptance of her normality and her perception that she cannot be more. After her argument with her mother and her comment about her mother’s dead children, Jing-mei reveals that her failure as a child playing the piano and her constant mindset that she could not be more than herself affected her in her later life. She allows the shortcomings she experienced in childhood to affect her future decisions.

“In the years that followed, I failed her so many times, each time asserting my own will, my right to fall short of expectations.”

Jing-mei is unable to motivate herself to be more than who she is now. She treats it as if she had simply accepted herself. Self-acceptance is great and being able to love who one is is important and both can be lost in too much ambition. However, Jing-mei has not really accepted herself causing this ability to accept who she is. It is less self-acceptance and more of her giving up on herself. She gives up on trying to be better than what she thinks she is and puts little to no effort in anything. This leads to an empty and discontented life where Jing-mei simply does what she can rather than broaden her horizons. Her belief that “I could only be me.” is her declaring her belief that she can only be who she is currently. This belief hinders her ability to grow. Sometimes individuals can give up on themselves and that can be dangerous. They may feel as if they have hit their ceiling and use it as an excuse not to try. This acceptance of their current self is not self-acceptance but rather self-denial, using their current limitations as rationale. They stop trying to improve themselves because they have lost hope in their ability to pursue their goals.

Classical virtuoso loses 'best friend' as movers drop $200,000 piano - BBC News

I experienced this in my personal life as a pianist. While I do not take lessons anymore, I still try my hardest to improve when I can and I have struggled with too much ambition leading to too little ambition. Ambition and how much of it you have is a very powerful motivator when it comes to trying to improve oneself. In piano, I always strive to be better than I am now and I try to learn how to be a better pianist. I practice regularly and (used to) take lessons in order to learn all of the skills I need to succeed. The teachers provide me with sheets so that I can learn pieces that gradually improve my skills as a pianist. Sometimes, however, I find myself getting too hasty. I see how others succeed in the field and feel that my own skills as a pianist are inadequate. I want to be a much better pianist and I am motivated to improve even more. This zeal for being a better pianist does give me the energy and motivation I need to improve but this also leads to me setting high expectations for myself to achieve. I want to improve exponentially so I choose to try to learn pieces on my own with little to no guidance. Not only do I choose pieces and aim for quick improvement but sometimes I also choose ones that are significantly harder than my skill level can handle. I fail to realize that pieces that are too hard do not always lead to improvement but lead to frustration and failure to the point that I end up giving up. My motivation is drained because of the failed expectations I had set. Feeling empty and regretful because of my failed expectations, I tend to try and learn easier songs in order to try and make up for the failure. Doubt stops me from trying anything harder than my skill level and sometimes I even choose to learn pieces easier than what my skill level can handle in order to try and make up for my failure. The lack of moderation in my ambition leads to either too much stress or too little courage.

Ambition is neither a good or a bad thing. It is simply a motivator for actions, both good and bad, to be taken. It encourages people to pursue their personal goals and wants. With ambition, people can be very successful and set themselves up to achieve great things. However, too much ambition can lead to an unhealthy pursuit of the goal where motivation from ambition can lead to an extremely challenging goal that gives a person high expectations. When the high expectations are not reached due to little preparation or a lack of time, people lose hope in themselves and their ability to be successful in what they are pursuing. This leads to the exact opposite of how they started off; they end up being unmotivated and have too little ambition. This little amount of ambition ends up making them feel like they have little to no potential, giving them justification to refuse growth.

Chess Ambition Photo: https://wallup.net/ambition-photography-reflection-chess-mirror-xatwn-piramerd/

Stairs to Success: https://www.thehansindia.com/business/failure-a-stepping-stone-to-success-669527

Expectations High: https://www.channelfutures.com/best-practices/expectation-the-root-of-all-heartache-and-success

Self-Doubt Photo: https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/50014/how-to-find-balance-when-too-much-self-doubt-gets-in-the-way

Piano: https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-51452218

Personal Cave

aliyah4675 20-1 A, Personal Response, Response to Literature, Writing November 27, 2021November 27, 2021allegory of the cave, belief vs knowledge, changing identity, experience, loss of innocence, personal caves, Truth 3 Comments

My eyes were tightly bound
With a cloth made of blood and steel
I knew not of freedom and love
Reliant solely on the invisible hands around me
Like a puppet-master playing with strings
And even if I spoke out
I could not
For my lips were sewed shut
With a thread spun from silken lies
I screamed myself hoarse in my mind
And eventually that too became silent
As there was nobody to listen to me
And everybody for me to listen to
I crumbled underneath the pressure
I yearned for the truth but I feared it at the same time
Could those invisible hands be my jailers
When they were supposed to be
Helpers but no I should not
And yes I should, I will
For the light burns with more fire than
Morningstar used to create the sun
But it is the light I am determined to see
And it is the truth I determined to know
The whole truth
And so I swear
Nothing but the truth

This poem is in response to one of the journal prompts from ‘Allegory of the Cave’: “Using Plato’s ‘Allegory of the Cave’ as an allusion, write your own version of the story.” In Plato’s ‘Allegory of the Cave, the philosopher uses the concept of the cave to ruminate between belief and knowledge. Specifically, the ways that belief can interfere with the perusal of true knowledge. Plato implies that for true enlightenment to be reached for all people, those who have knowledge must not only say what they know without proof. Instead, they must come to where they used to be (the dark cave) and teach that same knowledge personally to the prisoners. Meaning, only experience can start the process of enlightenment.

On many occasions, I have experienced different caves in life. Some of them have been unwittingly, some of them have been purposefully done (either by myself or others, in an attempt to showcase and track my growth as an individual), and others still that I have no doubt undergone, but currently do not have any idea of. Those sorts of caves are the ones that will take me many more life experiences and some more maturity to fully understand and accept as a stepping stone towards my growth. However, in this case, there is one particular cave that I had (and still, occasionally, do have) that I feel that’s important to talk about. That cave is a blind belief in authority.

You might chalk it up to filial piety or familial obligation, whichever one fits better for your own personal use and experience. You might also think of it as a side effect, of sorts, as a result of the societal norms that I’ve gotten up in. Either, it is one that exists nonetheless. I grew up — I am growing up — in a culture and time where respect to authority and elders is heavily put on my shoulders.

Perhaps it might not be the same if I was born in another time period (it is likely my experiences would be wildly varied), but this is my opinion as I see it. In terms of authority, it might be considerably far off, in a distant land like a government official. Someone I do not know but know enough to give respect to, respect to a higher position and rank. Most of the time, however, these figures of authority are close by. The teachers and guardians, my parents, adults that have direct interference in my day-to-day life.

The cave, of itself, is not the issue of respect. Humans deserve respect, and I am human and they are human. It is simple in that regard. The cave is blind obedience and belief. Dangerous things come out of blind obedience. It’s a recurring theme throughout history; it is good to obey the laws, but it is better still to challenge them. Not too long ago, obeying laws included slavery and racial segregation. But they were still the laws. They weren’t meant to be respected and obeyed. But just because they were laws, does not mean they were right. And I feel like that’s something highly important to remember.

Throughout our entire lives, we are constantly told to respect authority without question. Your teachers know better than you. (In many aspects, perhaps not all). Your parents want what’s best for you. (That may be true, but what if their wants for you aren’t what you want, and thus, what will make you the best person that you can be?) Politicians know what they’re doing. (Let’s… not even get into that. There’s a reason why a democracy is one of the best governments in the world).

I’ve had my fair share of issues that came from blindly respecting authority. An example would be when I was in 2nd grade. For some reason, my teacher didn’t like me. I couldn’t comprehend why it was. Had I done something wrong? Not as far as I knew. But my teacher would push me apart, single me out in front of the class for the strangest of reasons. I had an untidy desk. 80% of my entire class had an untidy desk. We were a group of 7-and-8-year-olds; what did they expect? My teacher wouldn’t take the time to explain things to me, and disliked it when I went up and asked questions directly.

As a result of my blind belief in authority, I automatically thought that whatever it was that I had done was my fault. It took me 7 years, and a series of pointed remarks in my earshot, as well as the careful explanations from my mother and the books I had read, to realize that it wasn’t my fault. My teacher didn’t like me because of the colour of my skin. Was it fair? Absolutely not. But it was still something I couldn’t understand. My teacher was supposed to be fair and understanding and have all those other teacher-like qualities. I was supposed to trust my teacher with my education and my learning. Anything else was supposed to be my fault. It wasn’t, and that’s when I first realized that firstly, some people are prejudiced for no reason. Secondly, the world wasn’t as black and white as I thought it was supposed to be.

I’m not saying that obeying authority is a bad thing. Quite the opposite. As Socrates said, “Without rules we are nothing but animals.” That quote has its own issues, but it works well enough for this purpose. And this purpose isn’t to get into a philosophical and moral explanation on societal rules and the ways people change over time. The point is, it is not bad to obey. It is unwise to obey without question. Especially when you consider that it is in human nature to be highly reluctant towards admitting mistakes. Without the knowledge of our mistakes, history repeats itself, and we’ve seen the various, devastating ways that history repeats itself.

MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIPS

oluwadunsin814 20-1 B, Response to Literature, Writing November 27, 2021November 29, 2021human nature, meaningful relationships, response to literature, short stories, the cathedral 4 Comments

Journal Prompt: which one of these themes best connects with “The Cathedral?”

The definition of a meaningful relationship is a commitment based on trust, respect and support. A place where partners, friends, family are able to share how they feel, express what they need, and feel a sense of security or protection. No matter how much a person tries to resist or isolate themselves from these connections it is essential in an individual’s life. They either form them by themselves or get a little push from those around them. In the short story “The Cathedral,” Raymond Carver expresses the theme about the human need to foster meaningful relationships with others.

He displays that when a wise figure appears during the course of an individual’s life, they can reveal needs and wants the individual did not recognize resulting in the creation of meaningful relationships.

How to Build Meaningful Relationships Online

Raymond Carver uses both the narrator and his wife to express the idea that is presented above. It is in human nature to want to be supported, respected, committed to and fulfilled. This was first displayed through the wife in the story. In her previous marriage and the one that she is in now she was lonely; it was as if she wasn’t being seen. Her need to be heard and listened to was not being met. It was not until her friendship with Robert that there is a shift in her attitude. Relating back to the thesis, Robert is that wise man that shows her what a true connection looks like. With her husband they barely talk, don’t go to sleep in the same bed or at the same time. In her previous marriage she tried to take her life as a result of her unhappiness. But with Robert she is chatty, he listens to her and they have good conversations. This developed the idea that she finally realized that she had a social and emotional need for connection. That feeling of belonging, which she found within a deep relationship with Robert.

Not only was this displayed through the wife but it was also shown through the husband; the narrator of the story. He was not very good at relationships; he didn’t have any friends and his marriage with his wife appears to be stand-offish. He states that he think she likes him. Backing up the point about Robert that was made before, it wasn’t until he came by and bestowed his knowledge upon the narrator that he saw and experienced what a meaningful relationship means. From his eyes and his life, a sincere relationship was something foreign to him. The connections he was surrounded with were stiff and based on just “surviving.” But from encountering Robert he was able to foster one. As much as he said he didn’t need one it was a necessity for him to create a bond that would help him learn and grow. In the end the story’s characters reinforce the idea and theme that humans need meaningful relationships to make life happier and to inspire change/growth in within themselves and others.

Looking back to my childhood I relate to the thesis in the sense that I was the narrator and my “wise man,” was my older sister. When I was younger, around the age of 5 or 6, I was the shy kid who didn’t talk to anyone. I didn’t go out of my way to make friends and I did not let anyone in. The only people I would talk to would be my family but mainly my older sister. Like the narrator, meaningful relationships were foreign to me because I never tried to foster them. It wasn’t until my sister started to push me that I realized that being alone was not the best thing in the world. Like Robert did for the narrator and his wife, my sister helped me see that creating connections with new people was not a scary thing. Sitting here now writing this I am extremely grateful for her and what she helped me learn. By stepping out and making new bonds I was able to grow but also learn new things about myself; that shaped me into who I am. I learned that I am actually not as shy as I made myself out to be. I am a bit more extroverted than I am introverted. I learned that I am a good listener and that I feel seen when people listen to me. Being able to create meaningful relationships with others even helps me today in high school because when I am put into group projects, it feels easier to connect with my group mates making the work go by a lot smoother. In the end with the help of my sister I was able to realize that I actually wanted bonds with others; I just stopped myself from making them.

IMAGES:

https://www.techwyse.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/partnership1.jpg

https://thezweigletter.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/1313-LY-Converted-01-1170×1039.jpg

https://media.istockphoto.com/photos/no-we-dont-want-you-picture-id172211274?k=20&m=172211274&s=612×612&w=0&h=128FRoJcp-t1YA3qngrIG5FUwXn-I7jFhKnk5DcQDnE=

20-1 Writers

Month: November 2021