dreams – 20-1 Writers

A Choice of Pursuing Desires

kulvansh167 20-1C, Free Choice, Uncategorized June 15, 2022ambition, conformity, dreams, pressures, self desires 0 Comment

The roughness of pursuing a dream or meeting expectations can leave a person flushed with exhaustion. The anxiety of avoiding disappointing others might lead to a lot of confusion that one doesn’t know how to handle. To deal with this, one can either run away from their problem or face it head-on. Gulab Bibi, the protagonist of the short story, The Poison of the Blue Rose, is torn between pursuing a personal passion and choosing to comply. Through Gulab Bibi’s experiences, Yasmin Marri demonstrates that when an uncertain individual wish to pursue a personal desire, they may choose to disappoint or adhere to society, resulting in the individual experiencing inner conflict.

Choosing between loyalty and pursuing a personal ambition might leave a person feeling overwhelmed. Doubts and disagreements develop as a result of this. Gulab Bibi falls in love with Rafiq, but her parents have already arranged for her to marry someone else. The narrator reads the lines on her hand and tells her that Rafiq is her fate. Gulab Bibi is at a loss for what to do and is overcome with emotion as a result of this internal conflict. She is confronted with the truth that she cannot disappoint her parents, despite her heart’s desire. When a person’s fantasy is broken by an unfulfilling fact, they may clearly understand what is best for them and their future, even if they are unhappy at the time. Gulab Bibi must next make a decision that will determine whether or not she will be happy in the future.

Individuals may feel compelled to select the polar opposite of what they desire. Society’s pressure can change a person’s feelings and make them question if a decision is right or bad. Gulab Bibi decides not to marry Rafiq after being pressed by her parents. She seeks help in yearning to the narrator’s house months after their previous contact in order to rekindle hope. She wears her wedding gown and is ready to marry, yet she still has contradictions. Despite the narrator’s efforts to relieve her of the burden, she informs the narrator that she will never forget Rafiq. The likelihood of regret is a crucial aspect that comes into play at this point in an individual’s decision-making process. The fear of not being satisfied in the future as a result of a previous decision might keep a person yearning for redemption. The fear of making the wrong decision can follow a person until they make it, and sometimes even after they do it. Gulab Bibi, on the other hand, trusts the narrator to lead her to a life without regrets.

Eventually, one must accept their faith because it is the only way to move forward in life. Gulab Bibi’s questions regarding the narrator’s prior love life triggered numerous memories that the narrator had previously suppressed, demonstrating that no one can truly escape their past because it will always be there no matter how hard they try to forget it. The conflict is handed on to the narrator at this point in the story. The concept of the blue rose is introduced to the readers in Wonders about the Past. It represents poison and the agony that can be inflicted by one’s past mistakes. Gulab Bibi recognized that when faced with the choice of pursuing a passion or conforming to expectations, the most sensible solution was to conform because it was for her own good. Even though she desired the one thing she couldn’t have, true love, the notion of disappointment grew excruciating.

Citations

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/anatomy-brave-decisions-saurabh-singhal

https://medicalxpress.com/news/2018-12-conform-social-norm-people.html

https://www.flickr.com/photos/41087279@N00/327746344

Lost Dreams

japraas752 20-1 B December 16, 2021death, dreams, reality, sleep, society, society and its affects, Truth, war, war and peace 1 Comment

Alone,

In the dark I sit,

Reflecting upon my past,

I dream,

I dream of grass stains on my knees after playing a game of soccer

I dream of family dinners where we sit together and laugh about how my brother failed his chemistry test

I dream about a time where I would wake up to a bright glowing sun shining down and warming my face

I dream of colors, nature, wildlife

I dream about my friends, family, loved ones

I dream of a time where we lived happily and in peace

I dream of going out of my house to feel the fresh breeze of winter weather

I dream of cold water running through my body after a game of tag

I dream of bed time stories with my dad

I dream

But like all dreams

Mine fade into a pile of dust

Sitting in the corner of my room

Waiting to be swept up in a cloud of smoke

caused by a molotov cocktail

I go to sleep knowing that it may be my last

I dream

All this pain, this war

All over a flag

All over a large chunk of dirt

My backyard, a playground for tanks

My streets, a maze for soldiers

My home, a bunker for survival

My dreams, the morphine to my pain

My city, the hunting grounds for target practice

My school, a hospital for the injured

I dream

Idealism Versus the Truth

zarinn 20-1 A, 20-1 B, Critical Essay, Response to Literature, Uncategorized, Writing November 28, 2021December 5, 202120-1A, dreams, expectations, facing reality, idealism, reality, Truth, unrealistic standards 2 Comments

Journal Prompt: Discuss the significance of idealism and truth in an individual’s life

Having established a perpetual sense of comfort and security is considered to be the pinnacle of achievement in one’s life. An individual experiences a watered-down version of these sentiments whilst pursuing an idealized version of their given reality. During this pursuit, they avoid the truth for the fear of losing the hope that has provided them with the, albeit false, feelings of fulfillment in their life. Within the short story “Two Kinds”, Amy Tan presents the idea that when an individual forces their idealistic aspirations upon others, feelings of resentment may emerge, which will eventually culminate into a harsh awakening into reality when the truth is finally revealed.

Hope is a powerful factor that can motivate individuals to make impressive accomplishments unless it is followed blindly. It can become dangerous when individuals use it to help create an idealized version of a future, without fully accepting the possibility of failure. “My mother believed you could be anything you wanted to be in America.” This is the opening line of the short story and is stated by the narrator, Jing-mei. As an immigrant carrying the burden of providing for their family, Jing-mei’s mother views America as their savior of some sort. She is driven by the same “American Dream”, that has been proven to be futile to countless others before her. Due to these fallacious expectations, she has already immersed herself in an idealized world. Within her perceived reality, she envisions Jing-Mei automatically excelling at life due to having access to opportunities that weren’t available to herself. She begins to exert these expectations onto Jing-Mei’s life, urging her to become a prodigy simply because she deemed it possible. Her aspirations for Jing-Mei’s future don’t accommodate her daughter’s own true feelings towards the matter, as she views her daughter as a mere vessel to fulfill the ambitions that she was unable to pursue herself. “She would look through them all, searching for stories about remarkable children.” This statement displays the true motives of Jing Mei’s mother, as it becomes clear that she doesn’t value the unique qualities that Jing-Mei may possess, but instead the potential of molding her into another one of those headlines. An individual who displays blatant disregard to the personal well-being of others, in favor of upholding their own deluded desires, will often be more vulnerable when the truth is finally revealed.

Erasing prior views once the truth is revealed

Idealism is defined by its unrealistic thinking, as it is often incompatible with the truth found in reality. An individual who is immersed within an idealistic mindset often remains unaware when feelings of resentment emerge within others that are affected by their actions. Although Jing-Mei initially shows enthusiasm at the prospect of becoming a prodigy, her confidence is shattered when she continuously falls short of her expectations. Her self-worth continuously deteriorates as she is unable to grasp the unattainable ideals that her mother has placed upon her. “…. and I saw only my face staring back – and understood that it would always be this ordinary face – I began to cry. Such a sad, ugly girl!” Jing-Mei has a difficult time reconciling her desires for mediocrity -her true identity- with her mother’s unwavering desire of having a prodigy daughter. After a period of quick contemplation, Jing-Mei finally understands the futility of trying to appease her mother’s unrealistic ambitions, as it contradicts the truth of her individuality. Having declared this shift in attitude, the first seeds of bitterness are planted within Jing-Mei, as she asserts that she won’t bend to the will of her unrelenting mother. “I won’t let her change me, I promised myself. I won’t be what I’m not.” Although choosing to behave in an idealistic mindset may provide some semblance of comfort to an individual, those who are forced to face the brunt of their unrealistic thinking are expected to find extreme displeasure in being pressured to fulfill some faulty fantasy. It becomes difficult to explore one’s true identity and find happiness within when the irrational desires of somebody else are constantly looming over them.

The Two Sides

It’s inevitable that an individual will reach their breaking point and no longer find any interest in entertaining someone else’s warped perception of the world. Their idealistic beliefs clash with the truth, consequentially affecting the quality of both their lives. One is stuck in a stage of denial, where they desperately try to cling onto whatever dying hopes that still provide them with some remnants of comfort. The other is prevented from staying true to their identity and becoming at peace with themself. Jing-Mei yearns for her mother’s approval of her, even without meeting her unreasonable expectations, and hopes that the failed piano recital will finally make her realize that she is unwilling to be who she wants her to be. Unfortunately, her mom still doesn’t understand, causing Jing-Mei to lash out with years of pent-up resentment spilling out. Although Jing-Mei did manage to live a life that was truthful to who she was, her mom had to grapple with the jarring reality after having spent years believing otherwise. The truth will inevitably prove to be incompatible with one’s ideals, and understanding how to reconcile the two will help prevent future sources of conflict.

Expectations and Disagreements

elizabethm992 20-1 B, Response to Literature, Writing November 28, 2021November 28, 2021disagreements, dreams, expectations, happiness, life lessons, seize opportunities, unrealistic standards 6 Comments

“Disagreements sometimes arise when what we want to do differs from what others want us to do.”

The quote stated above develops the idea that people are all unique, meaning we have different opinions, beliefs, routines, and more. Inevitably, we, as humans, will run into conflict, such as having to partake in a job or assignment we are not inclined to do. Regardless of whether or not an individual wants to do that task, sometimes they have to. From this comes a lesson: oftentimes, life will not always go your way, but, nevertheless, one must let go of the past and look at the positive aspects of life. Though we do control our own lives and decisions and do have a say in the matter to a certain extent, there may be no choice if only one option is available. The lack of options may be due to family standards, personal expectations, or simply no other option, thus causing a conflict.

In the story “Two Kinds,” author Amy Tan explores the idea of how personal and societal standards affect decisions and the conflict that these different perspectives lead to. The main character’s mother wanted her daughter, Jing-Mei, to be a genius or prodigy, specifically on the piano, while, in reality, Jing-Mei just wanted to be a young, average girl. The mother was constantly forcing special talents on her, pushing her to become someone special or famous. Initially, she believed she could follow her mother’s plan and become someone, such as a pianist, but she began to see that her mother was attempting to live in an ideal, unrealistic world. As time went on, Jing-Mei was losing hope in this dream. Soon she began to actively go against her mother, refusing to do what she said. This caused a major disagreement between the mother and daughter, leading to a lost connection and a damaged relationship. This conflict was caused by wanting different paths out of life for Jing-Mei. Jing-Mei did not accept her mother’s expectations, making it extremely difficult to have a strong, healthy relationship.

Personally, I have faced numerous challenges from wanting different things out of life and, though it is not pleasant, it is unavoidable. Everyone is different and unique and we cannot control the way others act or behave towards us. One must merely accept the facts and move on; let go of the past feeling. Though an individual should not tolerate hate and abuse towards them, if a conflict arises, that individual could try to not dwell on these feelings. This is a lesson that I am still learning because, oftentimes, I have a different goal or perspective towards a situation that differs from friends and family and causes a conflict or argument. To diminish this, I politely explain my opinion and accept that we are two different people with two different opinions. A time that I personally learned this lesson was when I was hoping to become part of a specific organization that would provide me with many opportunities and lessons but, at the time, my friend did not want to do this. I almost quit because I did not want to cause conflict but, in the end, I went regardless. Now that I look back on this experience, I am extremely grateful that I took this opportunity when it came rather than avoiding it to conform to others expectations. Through this experience, I learned the lesson that though disagreements may arise from having different expectations, one must live their life the way they want to because life is short and happiness is important.

Written by: Elizabeth

References:

Unknown. Wurlitzer spinet piano. PianoMart. 2020, 38560_42073_5f0d348c79660_main.jpg

Rodgers, Linda. Broken relationships. Shutterstock. 2020, 00-broken-relationship-shutterstock_725426836-770.jpg

Sullivan, Dan. Happiness Is A Choice. 2016, http://blog.strategiccoach.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/Happiness-Decision_Multiplier-Mindset-Blog.png

Unknown. Conflicts and Disagreements. 2017 download-15-300×200.jpg

Fear of Failure

harkrit719 20-1 B, Response to Life September 18, 2021September 22, 2021dreams, fear of failure, Overcoming difficulties 4 Comments

“Fear of Failure causes an individual with low self-confidence who is faced with a challenge or task, to miss out on opportunities and lose self-esteem.”

Fear of failure can have devastating impacts on an individual, like causing them to lose self-esteem, but the effects will become even worse if the loss of an opportunity occurs at the same time. The challenges or tasks that individuals face can be anything from something trivial to something monumental. It can be a small homework assignment or a final project worth 50% of your grade. This fear of failure can prevent individuals from reaching their full potential as well as their goals. This can prevent individuals, who do not fully believe in themselves, to not try new experiences, miss out on possible rewards, and feel regret after. Society paints a picture of people going about their lives and achieving their goals with relative ease and trying out new experiences, but this has negative effects on individuals all around the world. People see these exceptional individuals leading their perfect lives and it can increase the fear they have of failing because they believe it will paint them in a negative light if they can’t keep up with their own high standards. Facing this fear of failure is what will allow individuals to break through the walls holding them back and reach their full potential as well as increasing their self-esteem and self-confidence. This can then decrease the chances of them developing a fear of failure again.

Symbols:

Weight on Pick-Axe: Doesn’t allow the individual to break past the obstacles
Jewels: Represent new opportunities, their full potential, and possible rewards
Individual Walking Away: Symbolizes the individual losing self-esteem
Wall: Obstacles in the way of the individual that prevents the person from being able to reach their goals

I have personally experienced a fear of failure multiple times in my life. This happened several times when I faced various adversities or tasks that I did not believe I was prepared for or had the skill to beat. This ended up with me not going forward or doing my best to try to push through the problems and complete the tasks that I had to. I regret my decisions to this day. I did not get to accomplish the tasks I set out to do, did not reach my goals and I lost self-esteem and self-confidence which influenced my future decisions. I often set high expectations for myself and not meeting them can be awful. I overthink the possible consequences that any decision or task can have for me and this further increases my fear of failure. I compared myself to others because I always wanted to be the best and when I can’t it made me feel scared and nervous. I felt scared about my future because I saw what everyone else was doing and how it seemed like I was doing virtually nothing compared to them. It increased the fear of failure inside me because I thought that if I failed at whatever new task I was trying to accomplish, I would end up further behind them than I was before. However, facing this fear is something that everyone including me should strive for, no matter how difficult it may seem. I realized that sometimes it’s better to not think of failure as a consequence, but as an opportunity. This failure allows one to reach their full potential by learning from their mistakes instead of wallowing in them.

Sources:

Swaniker, Peter. “Startup Founders, Celebrate Your Failures-but Learn from Them. Here’s How to Turn Your Losses into Wins.” Minutes, 27 Aug. 2019, minutes.co/startup-founders-celebrate-your-failures-but-learn-from-them-heres-how-to-turn-your-losses-into-wins/.

“Leading Self Development Courses: Failure Quotes, Fear of Failure Quotes, Inspirational Quotes.” Pinterest, www.pinterest.ca/pin/178384835219384523/.

Conceal the Unbearable Truth to Reveal A Desirable Lie

Nurain08 20-1 A, Personal Response, Writing September 17, 2021September 29, 2021Bubble, Delightful world, dreams, Escape, facing reality, Fear of the unkown, Frightening reality, Future, Ideal, Idealistic World, Illusions, Imaginary world, Intimidating, Isolation, Lie, life, Possibilities, pressures, Real World, reality, Security, Serenity, Solitude, Truth, Uncertainity, Unique, Unpredictability, writing 7 Comments

When the acknowledgement of reality is intimidating, the unpredictable possibilities of life cause individuals who rely on certainty in life to fear an unknown future, resulting in individuals creating a bubble of solitude around them and finding security in the depths of their imaginations.

The unpredictable pressures and possibilities of life cause individuals to confine themselves in their idealistic world. While some individuals view reality as a blank canvas that they can paint with the colours of their dreams and aspirations, others view reality as a dungeon from which they must escape. Unfortunately, A large majority of the global population falls into that second category. Throughout an individual’s life, they are trapped by the truth, scared by uncertainty, and shackled by their future concerns. There is only one place that they can go to seek refuge, which is their imaginary or idealistic world. In this world, they are surrounded by nothing but pleasant delusions that provide them with unconditional comfort and a sense of security regarding the future.

Reality, for most individuals, mirrors a black hole that they are hurtling towards or a dark forest that is filled with unknown and unpredictable predators or obstacles that are just waiting to pounce and attack. This mindset causes people to acquire a fear of uncertain possibilities and pressures that will arise in the near future. This could mimic events or occurrences in life as simple as an exam that people don’t know if they will pass, or a group gathering that does not guarantee a pleasurable experience. In addition to that, due to their lack of knowledge regarding the future and their potent dependency on the element of certainty, they immediately assume the worst possible outcome, which, in turn, evokes feelings of uncertainty, fear, and an urge to retreat. As a result of the harsh perception of reality, human beings develop this primal instinct that never ceases to constantly generate new doubts and concerns regarding the inevitable outcome of the future. Therefore, due to the reality of life not being a phenomenon that an individual can control or alter in any way, individuals would rather barricade themselves within their imaginary bubble, which acts as a barrier that separates them from an intimidating reality.

The subconscious mind of an individual constructs this isolated bubble and world in such a way that makes it more secure than Alcatraz. This impenetrable shield does not permit the passing of any influence or fear from a dark and intimidating reality, which, in turn, provides a sense of security, assurance, and confidence to the one within it. Individuals do this for many reasons, but the most significant factor that contributes to their ultimate retreat into their imaginary world is the element of certainty that is absent when they are forced to face a reality that they cannot navigate or predict. Within their ideal world, the future is known to them because it has already been pre-determined or rehearsed, thereby resulting in the elimination of the most resented element that separates the reality of life from that of an individual’s unique imagination. This despised element is none other than the unpredictability of life. The essence of an individual’s imagination and deepest desires revolve around the aspects of control and certainty that allow individuals to delude themselves into a state of complete tranquillity and serenity, which, as a result, enhances their confidence due to their pre-existing knowledge of what will come next. It places people in their desired environment, in which they align with and excel in. Within this environment, they are able to navigate their ideal or imaginary world and predict what lies ahead, eradicating any and all elements of surprise, doubt, and perplexity that are bound to the reality of life.

I am an individual who experiences a potent fear of the unknown that is fueled by the overwhelming and overbearing reality that surrounds me at all hours of the day. As previously stated, individuals have unique views on reality. It can be bitter for some and sweet for others. Unfortunately, for me, the acknowledgement of an unpredictable reality is associated with the overpowering thought of what the future holds for me, resulting in me securing myself within my desired or idealistic world and finding comfort in the depths of my imagination. Personally, the acknowledgement or realization of reality causes the atmosphere around me to become gloomy, dark, and uncertain. This atmosphere can emerge from various events that I have experienced, which include, but are not limited to, an exam, meeting someone for the first time, and experiencing something, such as a rollercoaster ride, for the first time. These occurrences evoke a sense of fear regarding the uncontrollable or unknown corresponding outcome.

I find the unpredictability and uncertainty of life to be intimidating due to my innate urge to control any and all occurrences within my life for the purpose of being prepared or acquiring pre-existing knowledge regarding the reality of my life. Nevertheless, it is almost impossible to gain pre-existing knowledge about my future. Since my personality and mindset revolve around and depend upon the element of certainty in life, whenever the grim and uncertain reality of life overwhelms me, I feel as though my life is slipping away from my control, or the unpredictable possibilities and pressures of life are consuming and clouding my ability to think rationally, which evokes an overriding sense of fear and anxiety. I begin to feel vulnerable and susceptible to all of the unpredictable and inevitable circumstances in my life, mirroring unpredictable predators hunting their prey, simply waiting to pounce and attack. Just as how different types of prey bury themselves within their burrows or homes to avoid the predators that are attempting to hurt them, I bury myself deep within my imaginary or idealistic world to protect myself from the unpredictable and uncertain circumstances and events of reality that will ultimately result in the depletion of my mental health and a rise in my anxiety.

By barricading myself deep within my mind, I cause myself to begin daydreaming in my self-constructed world. I find comfort and security in my bubble or world of solitude because, for me, this environment acts as a safe haven or a place where I can go to seek refuge. Since I can gain a sense of control in my idealistic world, I am able to provide myself with guarantees and reassurance. Whereas, in reality, nothing is guaranteed, thereby resulting in unpredictability, vulnerability, and a fear of the unknown. My imaginary world is a world that I can control, a world that I can navigate, a world that I can predict, a world where my dreams are my reality, and a world that holds a future that I can see. In other words, it is a world that is designed just for me.